Making the Choice for School
If you’ve been a parent for a while, you’ve probably been asked the question “where will you send your kids to school?”! You’ve also probably realized how opinionated people can be when it comes to making the choice on how to school your child or where to send your child to school. It can be easy to become overwhelmed when you start to think about all the different options, especially if your initial thoughts differ from what other parents are saying or if you haven’t really given it much thought before. And if you try to find any information online, it’s really hard to find sources and options that aren’t opinionated and persuasive.
While I do have some strong opinions about school, I 100% believe that there is not a “one size fits all” answer for this. I currently homeschool my two oldest and plan to homeschool my daughter as well next year, but my boys went to public school for a while and my dad and brother have both taught in public schools (my brother still does). I have many friends who teach in public schools and some that teach in private schools. I have many friends who homeschool, a good bit who send their kids to private schools, and know plenty of parents who send their kids to public schools. And each family has a different reason for choosing the path they did.
For our own family, I have done a lot of research on our different options and I will do my best to share with you some of the pros and cons for each as well as some things to consider when your children reach school age to hopefully help you decide what the best option is for your family.
Public School
I’m sure no one is surprised to know that the vast majority of students in America attend public schools. Our society has built itself around this idea and when the pandemic hit, schools being shut down completely changed the day-to-day order of operations for our entire nation. Most of us (myself included) went to public schools ourselves, so the idea of sending our own children to public schools doesn’t seem too crazy. But what are the pros and cons of sending your kids to public schools?
Pros:
Your tax dollars are already paying for public schools, so outside of field trips and extracurricular activities, this option doesn’t cost you any money out of pocket.
If you and your spouse/partner both work full time jobs, you don’t typically have to worry about finding childcare with this option. You may need something before or after school, but that is much more affordable than having to find something that is full day.
This option can be less stressful, even for a stay-at-home parent. Even if you are already home, having a toddler or preschool aged child running around and taking care of a household is a full time job. Not having to worry about curriculums and teaching is something to consider if you feel like your plate is already full.
Your children will have a larger variety of friends. (This is NOT a dig on homeschooling/socialization - hear me out.) If there are more children enrolled in public schools, naturally, they will have a larger pool of friends to choose from who they get to see on a regular basis and have the opportunity to build friendships. Some of my closest friends are ones I grew up with in school.
If your child has an IEP or a special need of some kind, many public schools may have more resources available to help your child than a private school.
Your child may not listen to you the same way they would a teacher. I have a friend who tried homeschooling her children during the COVID shutdown. Two of her three kids did fine, but one REALLY struggled. Once things opened back up and she re-enrolled her kids in public school, her daughter thrived again!
To some individuals, exposure in sports is a very big deal. Public schools generally offer a wide variety of sport programs that will also allow opportunity for potential scholarships. For those not enrolled in public school, participation in sports programs generally comes at a cost, although there may be some waiver exceptions.
Cons:
If your child misses school due to a doctor appointment, illness or vacation, they just miss the lesson. Or if they just aren’t understanding a concept, the class can’t wait for them to get it before moving on. (I mean no disrespect to teachers here!!!) It may become easy for your child to fall behind.
This may not be the case in your area, but currently, in mine, teachers are leaving their professions over a variety of different reasons. Due to this fact (as well as some others, I’m sure), classroom sizes are at an all time high. This leads to less one on one teaching and direction for each child as well as more distractions in the classroom.
You don’t have control over or even always know what your child is being taught, and I don’t just mean by the teachers. While my kids were in public school, they were exposed to a wide variety of things that I really wish they hadn’t been at such a young age. Between some of the things the teachers were teaching and some of the things they picked up from friends, there was a lot of “deprogramming” I had to do each day when my kids came home, especially as they got older.
You’re bound to the school’s schedule. For someone who works a typical “9-5” job, this may not be a big deal, but if your work schedule is not “typical”, then a traditional school schedule may not be the best fit for you.
Home School
While homeschooling isn’t a new concept, the aftermath of COVID has left many families (mine included) leaving the public school system and turning to home school. Homeschooling has steadily gained popularity and with so many different options for style and curriculum, it’s becoming a more practical option for many families. So what are the pros and cons of homeschooling?
Pros:
Homeschool gives your kids and your family flexibility. As mentioned in the “public school - cons” list, my husband’s job is much more demanding in the summer and he can work some very long hours. This makes it difficult for us to take a family vacation in the summer, when a traditional school schedule would have time off, but also means that in the spring and fall when he can still work some late nights, my kids tend to be up later so they can see him. Homeschooling allows for this because they don’t have a “set” time they “must” be up by and we can take vacations to visit my family in Texas during the winter without missing any lessons. We can either just take a break from school or take school with us!
You know EXACTLY what your kids are learning. You get to pick the curriculum you use and can even modify it so that it fits your child best. You don’t have to worry about someone else pushing their beliefs on your child (be it a teacher or another student) while they are at a young and impressionable age. Sure they can still learn things from friends and you may still have some “deprograming” to do here and there, but it won’t be daily.
You can focus on your child’s strengths and interests and make learning fun! While both public and private schools have to focus on teaching a group of students and, therefore, have a specific curriculum they follow, homeschool allows you to find what learning method works best for your child, so they have a higher chance of success. It’s 100% customizable.
If a style or curriculum isn’t working for you, you have the freedom to change it up! While you may be out the money you spend on the curriculum, if it just doesn’t do it for you or your child, you aren’t stuck with it! I read somewhere that it can take some families two or three years to find what they really like and what works best for their families, so don’t be afraid to toss something and start over!
Cons:
Homeschooling can be stressful. I’m a mom of three, two of which are currently school age. I work part time and am very involved in our church that my husband holds a part time position as a young adults pastor. I manage our household as well as homeschool my two boys - and IT’S A LOT! There are definitely days that I feel like homeschooling is too much or I just don’t have time for it! (Although I think I’ve found a solution - more on that below - keep reading!)
My kids don’t have as many friends or they don’t get to see their friends often. My kids are at an age where they can’t just go hang out with friends. It’s got to be scheduled and I have to take them or make plans to have their friends over, so them building friendships falls on my shoulders somewhat (along with everything else mentioned above). I’m not saying it’s impossible for homeschool kids to make friends, but it does take more effort on the parent’s part to have them around kids their age - just keep that in mind!
It can be pricey. I’ve heard there are a ton of homeschool resources, ideas, and curriculum out there for free, but I personally haven’t seen anything I’ve loved. I’ve easily spent $600+ on curriculum for just one year! (Granted, that was with the idea that I could reuse that same curriculum for the next kid when they reach that age, but that involves a lot of printing and laminating and other resources.) I know parents that have spent more and I know parents that have spent less. Again, it’s about what works for you and what curriculum best fits your family.
If you have more than one child, subjects like math and English can take double the time! Science and history we can do together as a family, but for math and English, each child needs me one on one, so it takes extra time for me to work with each child individually. (Granted, they understand what they are taught because we didn’t move on until they did, but it takes a lot of time sometimes!!!)
Private School
Alaina chose to homeschool her 4 children through Kindergarten and enroll in a private Christian school for first grade. I asked her for some thoughts and here’s what she had to offer:
Why a private Christian school? Well, that question was a no brainer given the current culture of violence in schools, particularly in this area. Why homeschool through Kindergarten only? That was more of a selfish reason; to have more time at home with the kids. Homeschooling has always been a bit overwhelming for me. I frequently questioned whether I was organized enough and constantly questioned “am I doing enough?!” I was fortunate enough to receive some help from a beloved family member and it made the experience less stressful for me. However, the thought of having to proceed with curriculum and planning further than first grade became a little daunting. My first daughter was excited to go to school, and so it just carried over with the others to also start in first grade. While we didn’t really question the school we would send our kids to, there are still several pros and cons to the decision of private Christian education.
Pros
When you send your kids to a private Christian school there is no question about the type of learning environment. Teachers and students are to uphold certain values both in school and out of school and are held to a certain standard. The same values and morals we have at home are upheld and strengthened in school.
Small class sizes. In our particular school there are 2 classes for each grade level, with the maximum amount in each class being around 22. Generally middle school age enrollment increases to the maximum class size, then reduces again in 9th grade. Smaller class sizes allow teachers to really be able to pay attention to the individualized needs of other children. Students won’t fall through the cracks and won’t be left behind. If an issue or struggle arises, teachers are in constant communication with parents instead of just pushing the student along.
Smaller class sizes allow for tight knit friendships and, for lack of a better description, fewer “cliques.” While there are certainly personalities that may clash, any divide among students is not extreme or malicious. Particular public schools in our area have a great deal of violence and frequent school fights. This is something that has never, and would never, be a concern in our particular school.
Expense. Yes, I’m listing this as a pro AND con. Many people in our lives have said “public education was good enough for me; I turned out fine and successful.” This statement is true for both my husband and I, but things are not what they once were. A good, SAFE education is priceless in our opinion. I would rather make financial sacrifices to ensure my kids are happy, safe, and educationally challenged.
Private schools generally offer a more rigorous curriculum. This may mean more challenging lessons and a heavier workload, however children are generally learning at different rates than a public school (at least in our area.)
Cons:
Expense. Private education comes at an expense and its cost depends on many factors. It will require budgeting, and for many it may require sacrifices and lifestyle changes. For some, it may require seeking financial aid through the school if that is available.
Sports teams may be limited. For some families sports teams are a very big deal. It allows greater opportunity for scholarships, in addition to the values learned by being a part of a team and being active. Some private schools do not offer every sport, particularly if the division of other teams to play is small. For example, our school has limited options for girls sports and does not have a football team. If there aren’t enough teams from other schools to compete against, the sport is dropped. It is common for children to leave in high school specifically for sports related reasons.
Classwork and homework workload is often significant. Students are required to maintain a certain GPA, as in public schools, to remain on a sports team. The curriculum is also generally a rigorous one, requiring extra assignments at home. Educational standards are just simply different in a private school and students are required to meet the expectations which may be more difficult for some.
Additional resources/special education are sometimes lacking. Yes, children are entitled to services through the county, however it is possible that some private schools are simply not equipped to accommodate certain special educational needs and parents may need to seek those services elsewhere. Teachers may be as accommodating as they can be, but if a child needs significant intervention then certain private schools may not be an option.
Transportation is likely NOT free. For the school we chose, transportation (bus) costs are not included in tuition. Sometimes riding the bus will be an additional fee and may be doubled if the student is riding the bus in the morning and afternoon.
Online Homeschool/Private School
I have recently found that there are lots of online homeschool curriculums that don’t require as much parent hands-on time. There are also online private schools that require little to no parent involvement (except to make sure the student logs on to their class). Being a work from home mom, balancing work, household responsibilities, and homeschool can be tough. After this past year, I knew I needed something different, and I think I may have finally found an online program I like. The program I found offers an option for homeschooling, but also has an accredited “private school” option so my kids can graduate with a high school diploma. I’m not sure that I will start my daughter out in Kindergarten with an online curriculum, but I have another year to think about that. The pros and cons are similar to those of homeschool and private school, but I’ll list some down below.
Pros:
Flexibility with schedules
Control of what your child is learning (though not as much as “traditional” homeschool)
Possible accreditation (not all programs offer this)
Less “hands-on” time for the parent, freeing up your schedule to take care of daily tasks and chores
Cons:
Can be expensive - programs range from $300 a student to upwards of $2,000+ a student for one year
Expense of a laptop or computer (this is generally a once every few years purchase)
Kids aren’t around friends as much as private or public school
Sports options are an extra expense to parents
I hope that information was helpful. Making the choice on where to send your child to school is a big decision, and one I would encourage you to not take lightly. There really are more and more options out there now than there ever were! I’ve even heard of a few families hiring a teacher who would come in a few days a week and teach the kids all together, leaving the parents responsible for just some work a couple days a week. People are really getting creative with the different ideas and ways they are schooling their kids, and it’s so great to see because every child is different! Every family has different needs! There isn’t a “one size fits all” approach to learning and when we think outside the box, our children are better off for it!
What are some other pros and cons you are considering and weighing our in your decision on how to school your child(ren)?
TERRI - GENERAL MANAGER AT MILK + HONEY JEWELRY
With most of us moms at Milk+Honey currently homeschooling our kids, we’ve put together a list with some of our favorite books for kids as well as some of our favorite homeschooling resources. Check it out!