Jackie's Story
Our story this week comes from Jackie! She had some difficult experiences that she used to learn from and in turn, help others who end up on the same path.
My breastfeeding journey begins with my older son Andrew’s birth, six years ago. My milk was slow to come in, he had an undiagnosed tongue and lip tie, and he struggled with weight gain throughout the newborn stage. We didn’t sleep. We needed so much help. I’d count the ounces he’d need to have gained before appointments. I struggled to stay afloat emotionally during this time and developed postpartum depression and anxiety. I judged my success as a mother on my ability to feed my baby. I lost my supply early. My son and I are very close and switching to formula brought me peace in knowing I was giving him what he needed. It helped to save our relationship. We were both happier.
During those early, hard times, I built a village. I found it integral to my healing and my anxiety lessened. I had built a bridge. I joined a Mom and Baby group nearby and met other parents who had also struggled. After learning as much as I did through our experiences, I became a birth and postpartum doula. I wanted to assist other new breastfeeding parents with their journeys. I could empathize with them and what they were going through. I built a successful birth and postpartum doula service.
Due to my postpartum experience, I was nervous to become pregnant again. We waited quite a while to decide what we wanted to do. I then began dealing with fertility issues. After over a year of assorted tests, surgeries, and medications My fertility specialist declared my uterus was “not compatible with pregnancy;” he recommended a hysterectomy. I was devastated at first to learn that the choice to have another baby had been taken from us. It appeared my body had made a different plan for me. We had a surgery date booked for October 1, 2018.
It was mid-September, the night before my hysterectomy pre-operative appointment at the hospital. I had just left a postpartum client’s home. I had a strange feeling due to some highly irregular bleeding I had. I decided to pull over in a corn field to take a pregnancy test. My husband used to poke fun at me calling me a pregnancy test-oholic; I wanted to avoid the guessing and just get my peace of mind, alone. In hindsight, I recognize how strange it is to take a pregnancy test in a cornfield. There it was, it lit up like a Christmas tree. A great big positive test in the middle of a cornfield.
Very shortly after, I suffered a mass hemorrhage. I thought it was the end before it truly began. I was heartbroken. I went to the hospital expecting the worst.
However... it wasn’t over. There was my tiny flicker on the screen.
My tiny miracle baby dubbed “the little ovum who could” joined us earthside last May. Her name is Arden Claire.
Though she latched eagerly right after being born, she had the most severe tongue tie I’d seen on a baby and quite the lip tie. We had them sorted and lasered but we still struggled with her weight gain and my milk production. We got assistance from our doulas and midwives. We traveled to world renowned Dr. Jack Newman’s Clinic in Toronto and got some amazing support. I was put on the medication Domperidone to increase supply and flow. I used a lactation aid (tubing to the breast) to help fill my little baby’s belly. We did that for six weeks. After that, topped up with bottles.
At seven weeks, Arden developed a strange and unexpected case of summer RSV. She went into respiratory distress and stopped breathing twice. We were placed in the Pediatric Critical Care Unit for a day and a half and then transferred to pediatric inpatient for the remainder of our six day stay. She was tube fed. My tiny baby’s body fought so hard to get air. She perked up, grinning at nurses and doctors who rounded on her regularly. They said “she wasn’t the kind of baby you underestimate.” They didn’t know half of it. I pumped every three hours around the clock to try and get enough milk for her. I nearly lost my supply. I was scared she’d never nurse again, but she was recovering. After five days of being tube fed, she came back to the breast like a champ. It was like she had never left. I cried and cheered with my nurse. They cried right along with me.
Arden regained her strength and has been healthy since. I was supposed to go back to work last week being off for a year with her. I was going to let nature take its course when it came to weaning. Part of me truly wants my space and my body back. However, with the Covid-19 situation, my plans of weaning have been shelved as I feel it’s something tangible I can do to help protect my wee lass with the antibodies she receives.
I’m currently awaiting my own breast milk jewelry made by Milk+Honey. It will symbolize the love I have for both my children, perseverance, paying it forward, and rising strong.
Thank you for reading our story.
Jackie and Arden
What do you think about Jackie’s story? We love how she turned her difficult situations into learning experiences and in turn, figured out how to help others! Thanks for sharing Jackie!
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